my wife will not have sex, avoids it at all costs

[jolaca]

married 15 years and the past 7 years our sex life has sucked. I use to tell her that she was not "into" sex, but she always told me i was wrong, but in the past 8 years, we have had sex a total of 11 times. You can figure out how that averages out. In 2006 we had sex 0 times...this year, 2007 we had sex once and it was lousy. as much as i tell her she needs to see someone, she never does. I have days in which i am fine, but on most days i am so irritable due to lack of sex that i resent her terribly..I don't know what to do. I want sex so badly and I'm so tired of this....

[srdagain]

My wife and I married after dating about 6 months. we had sex every day and loved it some times even three times a day.. Then we got married and it went down hill from there..
For two weeks of our marriage we had sex once. That was the last time. It has been well over 2 years. Now we do not even sleep together.
Personally I do not want to sleep with her because just being in the same room I get aroused so it make it impossible to sleep. God help me if I should mention even the word sex she says it is a dirty word and I need to call it intimacy. Yet I get the excuse when we move here we will have a family "because we both want a family" then when we move I get the excuse no not here we need to move.. We have moved to 5 different states in two years and had No sex. we kiss about every other month .. quick peck.. I get alot of excuses and I get alot of insults.. then on her good days.. her real heart I know how she feels and I could never cheat on her or harm her in any way... So I wait.. She is dealing with Depression and Bipolar so there are days when I need to not breath as the sound can get her angry.. I have thought the best thing for her is the hospital and I should move on .. but I know GOD gave her to me at a time I was ready to die and so was she.. we found each other for a reason and I feel as a Catholic and a Christian Life itself is the reason .. so I must wait.. I am 42 and she is 38 we are to be in our Prime and I do not know what to do .. what to say.. how to handle it.. I try to reason .. talk .. explain and I have been told to find someone else or pay someone else.. or anything else.. then she is back to her Loving self the next day and As she thanks GOD for me she says we are to be together forever and We need each other..
So where do I turn.. I will not and can not go outside for sex.. And believe me when we first found each other it was not Just Sex.. It was a thing between us both were we both enjoyed each other and some days it was Total intimacy and some days it was some Real Dirty things only the two of us dare talk about .. but it was between us and We enjoyed it.. now two years later .. the three letter word SEX is so dirty it is not to be said in the house between the two of us.. She wonders why I get mad and why some day I loose all reality and I can not handle a common chat without getting angry.. I fear things will get worst from here ... I waited so long I forgot how it felt and even what to do... I am so afraid some day she will say she is ready and I will not know what to do..
I think she is afraid she will get pregnant right away because she want a baby bit may not think she is ready.. yet once a week we go out and buy Diapers and clothes.. They just get packed and moved to the next house to be ready for a family..
I give up. I do not see a family in my future as I get older and older and older.. Another thing she has said.. the past two years you are getting older .. I tell her it is because I have All the stress of life and no relief.. and I go days without food and sleep because I simply can not cope..
I am lost and I have lost it... I do not know where to turn.

[KinkyToes]

Hi,

To the guy who says his wife is on antidepressants, maybe that's why she doesn't want to have sex. I knew a guy who took Prozac and it completley killed his sex drive. He said he felt pretty terrible and depressed etc. without it, but he had to stop taking it to "get it on."

Maybe you could talk to her doctor about her medication?

Good luck.

[babydoll]

Does she drink alot? Maybe she is having sex with someone else? Do you suspect cheating?

[DavidCH]

Ugly?