| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
It's a Gut Feeling - Finding love
Most single guys are settled in their life. Their mornings, afternoons and evenings have a routine they are comfortable with and rarely will they go beyond the boundaries of that routine. Even a single guy's loneliness can become his norm and if someone crosses his path that interest him, he rationalizes instead of trying to adapt. Many times this leads to confusion - he just isn't sure if she is the one. He over thinks, he pauses, rewinds, goes forward until nothing makes sense about being involved. Soon he is back to his comfortable routine of drinking beer and watching football on Sunday. The loneliness he feels won't go away and after many beer drinking Sundays, he may try to fill that emptiness again. But just like before, he soon feels he is out of his comfort zone and the story repeats itself. After awhile, he is asking himself, how do I find love? This problem persist because he wants the girl to instantly fit into his comfort zone. At first, when he sees her, he is excited and this is enough to keep the relationship alive. In time the lady's personality and feelings make him over think the relationship and the excitement dissipates. At one time it was exciting, but it loses its luster as the relationship moves forward - especially when the lady's discussion involves changes in his life. He feels the pressure and wants out. Soon, he is back to filling his emptiness with beer and Sunday afternoon football. You see ladies, guys don't have the same type of instinct as you do and don't easily trust intuitive feelings. He'll over think what's in his heart, especially if he feels the only way he can love you is for him to make major changes in his life (they may not be major to you, but to him missing a Sunday afternoon of football may seem worse than going through hurricane Ivan). The gap will widen until it is beyond closing, no matter how he may truly feel about you. Whatever he felt at first now rest in a place that has no understanding of intuition. It may still be there, but buried in a cluster of confusion. What can you do ladies? Not much, except maybe back off a little. What can you do guys? Don't think about it - trust your gut feeling. I just got done saying that a guy's feelings may be buried in confusion. What a man doesn't realize that this is what separate men from women's intuition. What we interrupt as confusion, a lady calls intuition and has complete trust in those feelings no matter how chaotic it may seem. In other words, guys, they go with the flow. We will fight it, we will rationalize it, we will try to hide it with alcohol, cover it with masculine bravo, but instead, we should listen to it. Don't run, don't hide, just let it be and let it take its course. Scary, thought, isn't it, guys? But if you are tired of the merry-go-round of emptiness you may want to give it a chance. I know some of you guys are still looking for clarity, so here goes. Our visual instincts are in tune when we first see a lady. All she needs to do is give us a little sign of encouragement and our hormones are in high gear. We don't think beyond the moment, care about house payments or closet space, our eyes see what we like, a signal says it is ok to like what we see and we are in heaven. Simple! Now let's move ahead where the lady starts thinking about how life would be beyond the weekend movie, sexual encounters and the occasional dinner together. She wants more. If you fight it, she is gone, so you let the door open. She is in with some feelings - you thought you could handle it, but now you seem to be reacting to her feelings. Is this bad, guys, that you are reacting to her feelings? We seem to interrupt a reaction, even if it is a positive one, as being bad. At this stage we begin the debate between what we feel and what we know. We know we like to watch foot ball, but how will my feelings change me being able to watch football on Sunday? (I know ladies, you just can't believe it's that hard to decide between football and love, but for guys, it can be). When there is a debate between our head and our heart, ladies, the head usually wins. What I'm telling guys, if what you feel inside is positive, don't cloud it with other possible scenarios. Let it flow - trust that what you feel inside can be a positive in all aspects of your life. But for now, don't think, just be. Guys, I'm not saying that in time you may realize that she is not right for you and shouldn't get out, but what I am saying is we usually kill the chance to find out before we let time take its course. Usually, we over think our reactions until the only reaction left is we feel she is an intrusion in our life. Than she's gone and the loneliness comes back - another Sunday, another 6 pack or two of beer and you are getting older, lonelier and maybe, just maybe, wiser. I say wiser because I think younger guys fit the above sort better than an older gent. As a guy gets older, he may realize not to react so quickly, but trust that what he feels may actually enhance other aspects of his life. This is why a lot of younger Filipina ladies like older men. To them, older men are more settled, accepting and willing. Obviously, guys have met a lady and after the first date knew she wasn't the one. Even then a guy will call it a mistake rather than a gut feeling. He'll say something like, "I don't know what I saw in her, but man she isn't for me." It is when it goes beyond the first date and his gut has already said, "man she is the one" that he will start to talk himself out of any involvement when the lady wants a little more than the two of them getting together on Friday and Saturday nights. I"m telling you guys, trust that initial feeling, let the confusion in, don't fight it and give it time. You may find that you can still watch your football game on Sundays while she is nibbling on your ear. That's it, short and sweet. Guys, if you feel she is the one after a date or two, trust your gut feeling and don't talk yourself out of it. There is more to life than Sunday afternoon football. There is Monday night football also. Just kidding, smile, let what you feel be your guide and forget thinking too hard about how those feelings may change your life. Let it flow and let her love you. About The Author Steve Eyes is the webmaster and owner of FilipinaEyes Association. His experience comes from finding love on the internet and helping others do the same. http://www.filipinaeyes.com/Dating-RSS-Feed/rss.xml
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Whos Watching You? Men Arent The Only Stalkers For decades, the label "stalker' has been tattooed as a gender-specific crime, committed by men. Things have changed drastically. Relationship Advice for Women - Beyond the Happy Ending - Part 1 The Nothing Syndrome We've all heard the stories. The princess finds her prince and lives happily ever after. Denial Is Not A River In Egypt Original it ain't, but it still merits repetition: "Denial is not a river in Egypt". What it is, is a highly addictive behaviour. How To Slay The Toxic Dragon In Your Life How To "Slay The Dragon" In Your Life In Five Simple StepsAny time you spend around that toxic dragon , you are adding another cup full of misery to your life. You must accept that the toxic person you are with will not change, does not want to change, and does not want you to change. Soul Mate Myths But the cold truth is that most people have never known the inner radiance of their own soul. Instead, they cling to the many myths about the soul mate relationship that are simply not true. How Often do you Think About What you are Going to Say? How often do you think about what you are going to say prior to actually saying it? As a counselor, I have been trained to understand that working with Native Americans, there may be a quite a long pause before my client makes a response to something we are discussing.Native American children are taught through folklore, that they need to think carefully about the words they are going to use. Swinging! Will My Spouse Be Interested? How does one talk his/her spouse into living the Swinging Lifestyle?More importantly, why would you want to?Understanding that you desire to experience erotic, sexual encounters with others is quite apparent but as a couple both of you must desire the same.Talking your spouse into sharing themselves as well as his/her soul mate with others sexually is not the same as talking them into pizza over chicken for dinner or a comedy over a drama flick for entertainment. Improve Relationships With Style Have you ever felt that relationships are messy? These messes, are they inevitable? Is there anything to do to minimize the mess? Can cleaning a messy relationship be possible? How do you manage a relationship with some many different kind of people?GET TO THE POINTMaybe a forceful, loud and lively person gets your attention with their to the point style in a meeting or encounter. If you ask him or her about any of their goals or what they are up to, what sticks out most is their remarks wrapped in "what it will do for me. My Life My sister is 45 and having an affair with an old boyfriend from her youth. She says she loves him, he loves her, and they wish to pursue a life together. What is Abuse? Violence in the family often follows other forms of more subtle and long-term abuse: verbal, emotional, psychological sexual, or financial.It is closely correlated with alcoholism, drug consumption, intimate-partner homicide, teen pregnancy, infant and child mortality, spontaneous abortion, reckless behaviours, suicide, and the onset of mental health disorders. Thick Slice, Or Thin? Malcolm Gladwell's book "Blink" is a fascinating read. The subtitle "The Power of Thinking Without Thinking" gives some clue to its thesis. Guys Guide To Flowers We are here to help! With these helpful hints on flowers, you will feel more confident about choosing beautiful blooms for that special someone in your life!Something Simple & Sweet-Consider a mixed bouquet of daisies, lilies and wild flowers. This mixed bouquet is appropriate no matter what the occasion. 7 Ways To Improve Your Relationship Good relationships don't just happen. I've heard many of my clients state that, "If I have to work at it, then it's not the right relationship. A Kiss is Never Just a Kiss! "Kiss: a secret told to the mouth instead of to the ear." Edmond Rostand"The decision to kiss for the first time is the most crucial in any love story. Apologizing When We Hurt Our Friends or Partners In every relationship there will be occasional misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Sometimes we are the one who hurt another person we care about; sometimes we are the one who has been hurt. Easy Ways to Turn Any Evening Romantic If you don't have the time, money or energy to plan and execute the perfect date, you're not alone. The good news is you can set up a romantic evening in just a few minutes and without any cost. Approval - You Dont Need It Yesterday, after receiving a massage to help ease my computer-aided muscle tension, I was described as an over-achiever. That got me thinking about value-laden language and what it really means. He Said, She Said The Relationship TriangleMost people get involved in a relationship for the right reasons and leave a relationship for the wrong reasons. In fact, most of us have been guilty of it at one time or another and of being a complete spaz demanding we get our way in the relationship. Assuming Personal Responsibility in Relationships Stephen Covey in 7 Habits of Highly Effective Families says that responsibility is really the " ability to choose our response." We don't have to respond to stimuli and triggers the same way we have always done. A Friend in Need Here's the scenario: Julie, a hardworking secretary, lent money to her good friend Ray; $1300 to be exact. Ray had just moved to a new town and claimed that he needed two new suits: one for an upcoming wedding and one to wear on job interviews.
|
| Home | Back to Index | site map |
| © 2006 |
