| |
| |
|
Relationships Information |
|
|
|
He Still Hasnt Popped the Question - Should You Give Him an Ultimatum?
You've been dating the man forever, and he has yet to cough up a ring. You spend every single weekend with him. You endure his flatulent buddies from college. You put up with his lunatic mother. You alternate spending holidays with his family and yours, spending handsome sums on gifts for his nieces and nephews. You cook for him. You've baked him birthday cakes. Occasionally you even do his laundry. Should you give him an ultimatum? Doesn't he owe it to you to marry you after all you've done for him? No. After all, it was you who decided to endure people you don't like. It was your idea to cozy up to his nieces and nephews to show him how much you love children. You cooked and baked and did his laundry to prove that you're superior wife material. All this in the hopes of winning the ultimate prize package: The ring! The dress! The 7-day/6-night trip to the romantic destination of your choice! And all he ever does is take you for granted. Of course he takes you for granted. You don't have a life of your own. Your goal in life is to get married, you're pinning your hopes on him, and he knows it. Put yourself in his place: Wouldn't you take you for granted? If you truly love him (and consider this carefully; do you love him, or do you love the idea of getting married?), don't give him an ultimatum. It's never smart to give any man an ultimatum. Ask yourself: Do you really want to marry a guy you had to strong arm? Don't you deserve better? Ask yourself what marriage to an ambivalent husband might be like. If the guy takes you for granted now, how bad will he be in five years when you've given birth to children who scribble on the kitchen wall, and he remains slumped on the couch while you scurry to scrub it off? How bad will he be in 10 years when, on top of cooking, cleaning, and laundry to do, you still have homework to supervise and Halloween costumes to make? Stop yourself now. Otherwise, one day sooner than you think, you will find yourself among the legions of women who complain that their husbands never do a damn thing around the house, and you'll have nobody to blame but yourself. So, take a step back. Decide what you really want from life. Determine whether this particular man is the right companion for the trip. Cease spending all your free time with him. Replace a bad habit with a good one by taking a class, signing up for yoga, or going away for the occasional weekend with the friends you've been neglecting since you hooked up with What's-His-Name. In other words, don't be so available. Fill your time with opportunities to meet new people. Get to know yourself better (you're worth getting to know). By all means, hang out with the guy from every now and then but limit time with his family. Resist all inclinations to "wife and mother" him. Let him bake you a cake for a change. Will he come to his senses? Will he fall on both knees and make all your Cinderella fantasies come true? Well, here are three possibilities: 1) He won't miss you all that much, freeing you to find happiness elsewhere; 2) You'll realize you don't miss him all that much and hold out for a man who'll love you as much as you love him; or 3) He'll ask you to marry him, and you'll tell him yes or no, confident that you're making the best choice for your own future happiness. Keep in mind that if you say yes, the guy's obnoxious college buddies and lunatic mother are part of the package. If you're clever, you may get away with scaling back on his nieces and nephews' gifts a bit. How much baking, cooking, and laundry you take on, however, is entirely up to you. About The Author Terry Hernon MacDonald is the author of "How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams" and the host of "Romance Talk with Terry" on http://www.healthylife.net radio. Visit her website at http://www.marrysmart.com.
MORE RESOURCES:
Relationships - Google News |
|
|
|
RELATED ARTICLES
Swinging! Will My Spouse Be Interested? How does one talk his/her spouse into living the Swinging Lifestyle?More importantly, why would you want to?Understanding that you desire to experience erotic, sexual encounters with others is quite apparent but as a couple both of you must desire the same.Talking your spouse into sharing themselves as well as his/her soul mate with others sexually is not the same as talking them into pizza over chicken for dinner or a comedy over a drama flick for entertainment. Don't Snuff Out Expressions of Liking It is hard to express all the emotions to somebody whom you love the most. Although one wants to share all those things which he/she has in his/her heart. Emotional Investments It is a given truth that there are people out there in the world, married and single, who are afraid of allowing any emotional attachment or involvement in a relationship. This is a destructive element inanyone's life. Zodiac Love Match - Can the Stars be Right? As a somewhat older gentleman (but still fairly good looking and somewhat romantic?) I have always enjoyed good relationships with the younger folk - Oh! The times I have been called upon over recent years to inspect and give an opinion on some poor new prospective boyfriend.Of course, it is somewhat flattering to be consulted for such advice by pretty young females. Should I Leave This Relationship? How do you know when it's time to say goodbye to a relationship? In any intimate relationship-especially in a marriage-it's not a good idea to let a doomed partnership drag on, simply to avoid the pain of a breakup.Signs of TroubleThere are some warning signs that your relationship is in trouble. Gay and Lesbian Relationships America has a reluctance to accept relationships between people of the same gender. This reluctance follows a similar pattern to the hostility towards interracial relationships. Breaking Your Relationship Pattern, Part 2 The first step toward being able to attract and create your ideal relationship is to clear the way for it by eliminating baggage from your past. This baggage refers to any resentments, hurts, or fears you have toward anyone who either was a role model or who participated directly in a relationship with you. The Revenge Affair: Characteristics of the Adulterer "I Want to Get Back at Him/Her" is one of 6 kinds of affairs I outline in my E-book.This is the "revenge affair. Spouse Improvement: Influence Your Partner to Change in Just 7 Steps Everyone has something they'd like to change in their partner. Here is a 7-step process to create a change in your partner. Relationship Spring Cleaning by Susan Sheppard History doesn't belong in a relationship that is presentMy friend, Jack Rafferty, the famous Man-Woman Coach, used to say "don't clean the clean" referring of course to relationship. What he meant by that was once you have gotten angry, argued, and "effectively dealt with" something that happened that hurt your feelings, be done with it. Great Relationships: Checkbook Battles and How to Solve Them "You can't hold on to a dime. Do you own the mall yet?!""It takes a crowbar to open your wallet. Whos Watching You? Men Arent The Only Stalkers For decades, the label "stalker' has been tattooed as a gender-specific crime, committed by men. Things have changed drastically. Conflicts Dont Have to Mean a Fight to the Death Although conflict in marriage is inevitable, fighting is optional.The secret is in how you approach and handle the conflict. Are Women Really Superior to Men? While doing my search for this idea, I came across something interesting on the web. At a hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where a family member lay gravely ill. Discerning The Loving Heart How often have you had the experience of connecting with someone - a friend or a potential partner - who turns out to be an uncaring person? At first you think this is a really good person, and then down the line you discover that the person is self-centered, narcissistic, angry and uncaring. You wonder how you could be so wrong, and what can you do differently next time?I have discovered in my 35 years of counseling that people seem to decide very early in their lives whether or not they want to care about and have compassion for others' feelings. Common Relationship Problems The essential problem in any bad relationship is a breakdown in communication between the two partners. No matter what the issues are (money, infidelity, etc. Calling All Single Parents! Why not Try Online Dating? Forming a relationship when you're a single mother or father can be a very hard and frustrating time, but why don't you use the Internet to do most of the work for you?The World Wide Web has thousands of other singles looking to form relationships, many which are single parents as yourself, so what's stopping you from meeting these single parents?I'm sure the last thing you want for your children is for them to grow up without a mother or father, it makes the most simple tasks like going out for the day a real headache as you have to plan everything down to the last detail by yourself. This can be a really tough time for both them and yourself and can put a real strain on your mother/father-child relationship. How to Ask for a Gratifying Sex Life So your relationship has changed over the years since you said "I do" and sex isn't what it use to be. First you should know that this is normal and common place in the majority of marriages. Ounce of Prevention "To love, honour and cherish", easy words to say during a fancy ceremony, but how many people actually think about what it is that they're saying? How many people commit to living those words? Complacency is one of the biggest enemies of any relationship, and it takes constant effort with both parties to avoid it and stay 'happily-ever-after'.Once an affair has occurred, it's far too easy to lay the blame on the guilty party, but in truth, it takes two to tango, or in this case, three. Whats in a Kiss Just think of being in front of a warm cracking with you partner in your hands, with a kiss and a cuddle. But have you ever thought about why people kiss? It could be a greeting or a sign of affection, but we all kiss.
|
| Home | Back to Index | site map |
| © 2006 |
