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Newylweds, pregnant, and thinking of leaving him...

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For years my husband has been extremely disrespectful with me in public and at home in front of our three children. This is not how I want my kids to be raised. When a person says they love you they do not disrespect you, ever.
When it comes to disaplining our children, I am always the bad guy. He nigates every discipline possible, in front of the kids. The kids no longer ask me for anything and are extremely dis respectful with him, because of his lack of discipline. He continuously threatens me and says "I'm done", "it's over". I am to the point of just wanting to know when he is leaving. He does not help with anything around the house. He is the sole bread winner and makes sure I know it. He is extremely controling with his money and gives me a limited allowance. Questions how I'm spending all the money he is giving me, and trust me, it is not alot of money. I have always told him that the money is not important to me, that showing of respect, affection and adoration is more important to me. He just doesn't get it. He along with all his family members runs a family business, and is very well off. I know he has put a lot of the money in a trust for the kids, so at least they will be well taken care of. I am almost 40 but look younger that my age. I will do fine, actually, I know I'll do better without him. I also know my kids will be better off with me raising them by myself and he could have his time with them. To spite me, he takes the kids out to buy them expensive gifts, just because. I know that the kids will get to a point when they will se right through that. It's not about quantity with kids, it's about quality. He has never taken any of our kids to the park, zoo, museum..... He just buys them whatever they want, when they want it. He lets them do anything they want. This confuses them and has made them become very manipulative, using us against each other to get what they want.
So all I want to know is when is he leaving?

Stampp2:
I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I'm glad you've gone into counseling to deal with this issue as I think it will help you to make a decision - which will most likely be to leave this unhealthy/unhappy marriage.

If you told him you were leaving to go stay somewhere else and he didn't care, I think that's a pretty good indication of how he feels about you and your marriage.

Sounds like he was looking for someone to help him raise his son, take care of him, and cook and clean for him. Sounds like he found the perfect girl with a generous heart to do all those things. What are you getting out of this? Not much from the sounds of it.

You deserve more and you deserve a husband that loves you, respects you, and wants to spend time with you.

You're tired of trying and your tired of crying. Have you ever cried so much in your life? Trust me when I say I know where you're coming from. If you stay with this man get ready to cry buckets of tears for years to come.

We all want to seem like our marriages are fine. But, they're not. Feeling like you don't count is not healthy in a any relationship.

You have to decide what to do. Based on my experience, I would say stop wasting your time. Life is too short. But, what I say doesn't
matter, because it sounds like you still love him and will stay with him in hopes that he will suddenly change.

Whatever you decide, my heart goes out to you. I will pray that things work out well for you.

I am soo sick of crying all the time, and being upset. My husband is very inconsiderate of my needs. I don't ask for much, such as honesty, and respect. No matter how many times I have tried to talk to him, he just doesn't listen. Moments after I have spoken about an issue that bothers me, he will turn around and do the exact same thing.

We have been married 3 months, I am pregnant 3 months, and have been together 2 years.

Ex. He asked me to bring him lunch, so I did, and was not at work. (service call, good reason)so I told him to at least call me, if he could...

The very next day, he never came home until late, and said he went fishing. Well, once again, he didn't let me know. He knows how much I love fishing, but we have never gone in almost 2 years. He took a buddy w/him, and they also went water skiing w/our boat. He could of at least phoned me and told me what he was doing.

Daily, I am confronted with his inconsiderate behaviour. He will fix his car, because it doesn't "sound" right, but, meanwhile, my van is falling apart. And he will fix everyone in the neighbours vehicles...

I have cried my eyes out to him and have told him how upset, hurt I am. However, my tears fall on a sponge... I have told him how unhappy I am in the marriage, and he does nothing. We have been sleeping in separate rooms for 3 wks now.

My g.parents loaned us money, so he could get some tools for work, and out of all the money, not once did he do anything nice for me.

I have gone as far as taking him into the store, showing him, him what I would like and weeks later,...nothing..

Nothing for Valentines Day, etc.etc.etc.

My kids (11 &13) see this, and see my saddness. I don't deserve this, and neither do my kids. My husband isn't much of a role model in treating me w/respect.

I have recently gone to counselling. I can't change who he is, but am I willing to live this life forever? Is my life to be treated like this forever? How many more tears do I cry? How many more times do my emotional needs and desires go unforfilled?

I have told him I am leaving for a while. I am going to my mom's, dad's, friends, whereever... It doesn't seem to faze him at all...I bet his biggest concern is who will watch his son, when he comes to visit?

I hate being in the same room as him. I hate talking to him anymore. I no longer care how 'His' day went, when my days don't count. I don't want him near me, and definetly don't want him to touch me. I told him, why would I want to hold his hand, when he can't even hold my heart?

I am happy when I am not home. My kids notice it too. I laugh, and smile, something I never do at home.

He borrows money from his mother with out telling me. (I accidently caught him on it, because his mother wouldn't tell me)

We quit smoking over a year ago, and now I feel he is sneaking behind my back and smoking. He will go visit him mother/neighbour, whoever that smokes, and then blames the smoke smell on them. He knows how much the smell revolts me, and how I didn't want the baby to be around it... He no longer denies he smokes,

however, when I speak to him at all/about anything, he looks at me with a stupid look and doesn't even answer...

Tired of trying. Tired of crying. I am just plain sick of being treated like my feeling/emotions/opinions don't matter at all....

I love him dearly, but there is soo much more to a marriage than just love.

Love will not hold a marriage together when there is no respect, trust, or commitment...

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