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Marriage : Humor Funny Stuff Interesting Tales related to the eternal Union

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At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong
finger?" The other replied, "Yes, I am. I married
the wrong man."

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
"You know, I was a fool when I married you."
The husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in
love and didn't notice."

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife
wanted". Next day he received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: "You can have mine."

When a man steals your wife, there is no better
revenge than to let him keep her.

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over
intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of
hope over experience.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first
name was Always.

Losing a wife can be hard. In my case, it was almost
impossible.

I haven't spoken to my wife in 18 months - I don't
like to interrupt her.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would
go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

My girlfriend told me I should be more affectionate.
So I got two girlfriends.

How do most men define marriage? A very expensive
way to get your laundry done free.

A man said his credit card was stolen but he decided not to report it because the thief was spending less
than his wife did.

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.

First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."

Women will never be equal to men until they can walk
down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and
still think they are beautiful.

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STOP drinking and treat her, as a lady, wife,respect her.Or as u wanted to be treated.

i am very much upset because me and my wife is querell in a week i could't know what i will do. last night i drinking lot and reached at my home approx 1.30 a.m. she start to talking with me why are you coming you late etc.............
i am angry that time i abuse her and make a slap to her. know she has gone his father house.

Bascically she is not giving me a space i love her very much but some times i loosed my temper pls. suggest me what i will do

My marriage is a perfect one. We've been married for 4 years and still have excellent understanding and love between us. He and I are exactly opposite to each other when it comes to it but there's one similarity - we are both FULLY dedicated to our marriage and know the fact that "This will pass if we let it go". That, I guess, gives us both the reason to respect each other at the time of differences. During conflicts, we think, "He/she is otherwise so dedicated, how does it matter if he/she wants to do it this way and not that." It takes effort and patience, we can't expect happiness without these two.

He loved me, but he didn't want my input on the ring. He had to buy me another when the first one was unwearable, and now neither of us is thrilled. Worst Proposal...ever, hope the marriage is better.

I MARRIED THE WRONG DAMN MAN. THIS MAN WAS A LIER FROM DAY ONE. HIS FAMILY WERE ALSO LIERS. ALL HE DID WAS TAKE, TAKE AND TAKE. NEVER GAVE ANYTHING.

A married woman says to her woman neighbour:
_ How much do you give me for my husband?
_ Nothing
_ Done deal!!

alzehiemers


An elderly widow and widower were dating for about five years. The man
finally decided to ask her to marry. She immediately said "yes".

The next morning when he awoke, he couldn't remember what her answer
was! "Was she happy? I think so, wait, no, she looked at me in a funny
manner..."

After about an hour of trying to remember to no avail, he got on the
telephone and gave her a call.

Embarrassed, he admitted that he didn't remember her answer to the
marriage proposal. "Oh", she said, "I'm so glad you called. I remembered
saying 'yes' to someone, but I couldn't remember who it was.

A True Story

During taxi, the crew of a US Air departure flight to Ft. Lauderdale made a
wrong turn and came nose to nose with a United 727. The irate ground
controller (a female) lashed out at the US Air crew screaming "US Air 2771,
where are you going? I told you to turn right on 'Charlie' taxi way; you
turned right on 'Delta'. Stop right there. I know it's difficult to tell the
difference between C's and D's but get it right".

Continuing her lashing to the embarrassed crew, she was now shouting
hysterically, "God, you've screwed everything up; it'll take forever to sort
this out. You stay right there and don't move until I tell you to. You can
expect progressive taxi instructions in about a half hour and I want you to
go exactly where I tell you, when I tell you, and how I Tell you. You got
that, US Air 2771??"

Naturally, the 'ground control' frequency went terribly silent until an
unknown male pilot broke the silence and asked, "Wasn't I married to you
once?"

-I whant to marry your dotter, sir.
-Ask my wife first!
-No I only want to marry the dotter!

-It`s OK darling, she sad and hang upp the phone
-Who was it, asked the man sitting next to her
-My husband, she sad, he was going to be late because he was playing cards with you.

Question- Why does a wife normally keep her eyes closed when her husband is having sex with her?

Answer- Because she just cannot see him happy.

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