NEW community site to expand your social life  DatingMating.com  - JOIN FREE

Marriage Quotes -> Husband Said Wife Said - $#%x?

---

Join the most exciting new community on Family issues. You will like it. idealFamily.Com - Discuss family issues Life styles household, housekeeping and secrets to family life

IdealFamily.com is a clean community for all moms, dads and members of family who want to live a loving, fulfilling life. Please join it free and share your love. Win new friends and receive plenty of blessings and love.

• Archive through November 30, 2004 [0]  

You know what I did before I married?
Anything I wanted to.
-- Henny Youngman

The best way to get most husbands to do something
is to suggest that perhaps they're too old to do it.
-- Ann Bancroft

Any husband who says. "My wife and I are completely
equal partners," is talking about either a law firm
or a hand of bridge.
-- Bill Cosby

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut
afterwards.
--Benjamin Franklin

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
-- Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we
met.
-- Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when
she's wrong.
-- Milton Berle

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for
a jury.
-- George Burns

What's the difference between a boyfriend and a
husband? About 30 pounds.
-- Cindy Garner

When women are depressed, they either eat or go
shopping. Men invade another country. It's a
whole different way of thinking.
-- Elaine Boosler

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said,
"There was water in the carburetor." I said,
"Where's the car?" She said, "In the lake."
-- Henny Youngman

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.
-- Phyllis Diller

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them
were just napping.
-- Rita Rudner

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
-- Henny Youngman

People are always asking couples whose marriages
have endured at least a quarter of a century for
their secret for success. Actually, it is no secret
at all. I am a forgiving woman. Long ago, I forgave
my husband for not being Paul Newman.
-- Erma Bombeck

Join the most exciting new community on Family issues. You will like it. idealFamily.Com - Discuss family issues Life styles household, housekeeping and secrets to family life

IdealFamily.com is a clean community for all moms, dads and members of family who want to live a loving, fulfilling life. Please join it free and share your love. Win new friends and receive plenty of blessings and love.

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED:
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Marriage is like a good pot of soup when your sick, there are some things you may or may not like in it but eating or accepting the whole pot could bring healing.

Halloween humor:


Some of the employees dressed up at work for halloween. One of them looked at me and said "Why didn't you dress up?" I said "I was going to impress all of you and dress up as the scariest thing I know. But my wife wouldn't let me borrow any of her stuff."

I tried on a witch's hat at work. One of my co-workers taunted me and said "Nice hat!" I replied "I was just trying to look at things from a woman's point of view."

Sorry ladies if this offended you, I was just being silly. Anger is not a good thing. Are you still upset because someone dropped a house on your sister?

Why do women talk so much? Don't they ever realize it is annoying?

marriages are made in heaven and celebrated on earth. Finding that person to celebrate marriage with is the hardest task.

A good marriage is the union of two forgivers

marriages are made in heaven.really

Marraiges are made in heaven but we have to try and make it WORK here.

Remember the three "F"s in a successful marriage.
"F"riendship
"F"reedom
"F"orgiveness
You are each others "F"riend, give each other "F"reedom and "F"orgive each other at times.

Never expect too much from any relationship if you want it to work. If you give more then you expect you will always be happy.

Having a husband that doesn't say much, and when he does, has no clue. What kind of relationship is this?

People who dont say much are usually receptive and bit self centered, that is focused on themselves. This is their nature.

ed.

Never break a heart that loves you, never give it an endless pain

For

Hearts are like roses that never bloom again

A woman on her dying bed called her husband and told him that she was sorry for all the bad things she has been doing to him. The husband looked at her and said, "what do you think i gave you poison for?"

In the first year of marriage, the husband talks and the wife listens.In the second year of marriage, the wife talks and the husband listens. And from the third year onwards the husband and wife talk, and the neighbours listen.

NOTE :: Please join the New Forums -  Click here to register

Free INSTANT Classified ads >>
North America | America Latina | India | South Asia

[c] 1996-2006 marriagepartner.com -| Home Page