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• Marriage : Humor Funny Stuff Interesting Tales related to the eternal Union [11] 10/27 11:07am

• Men Are NOT from Mars : A Less Surreal View [-]  

• Women are NOT from VENUS: Unspoken Truths [-]  

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MY wife and I have been married for about 9 years . I'm 35 and she is 60. I knew she was older than me when we got married but I didn't know how much ! sh e won't tell me and I didn't care. A year after we were married I found out by chance. I love her so we stayed married. Now I want my own kids and she can't have any . She is askong me to adopt , but I want my own . I'm really torn now. I love her but I want my own kids. HELP!

honorable lies
One day, while a woodcutter was cutting a branch of a tree above a river, his axe fell into the river.
When he cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "Why are you crying?" The woodcutter replied that his axe has fallen into water. The Lord went down into the water and reappeared with a golden axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord again went down and came up with a silver axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
Again, the woodcutter replied, "No."
The Lord went down again and came up with an iron axe. "Is this your axe?" the Lord asked.
The woodcutter replied, "Yes."
The Lord was pleased with the man's honesty and gave him all three axes to keep, and the woodcutter went home happily.

One day while he was walking with his wife along the riverbank, the woodcutter's wife fell into the river. When he cried out, the Lord again appeared and asked him, "Why are you crying?"
"Oh Lord, my wife has fallen into the water!"
The Lord went down into the water and came up with Jennifer Lopez. "Is this your wife?" the Lord asked.
"Yes," cried the woodcutter.
The Lord was furious. "You cheat! That is an untruth!"
The woodcutter replied, "Oh, forgive me, my Lord. It is a misunderstanding. You see, if I said 'no' to Jennifer Lopez, You will come up with Catherine Zeta-Jones. Then if I also say 'no' to her, You will thirdly come up with my wife, and I will say 'yes,' and then all three will be given to me.
But Lord, I am a poor man and I will not be able to take care of all three wives, so that's why I said yes this time."

The moral of the story is whenever a man lies it is for an honorable and useful reason.

A man was driving home late one afternoon above the speed
limit. He noticed a police car with its red lights in his
rearview mirror. He thought, "I can outrun this guy," so he
floored it and the race was on. The cars were racing down
the highway at 90 miles an hour. Finally, as his speedometer
passed 100, the guy figured, "What the heck," and gave up.
He pulled over to the curb. The police officer got out of
his cruiser and approached the car.

He leaned down and said, "Listen mister, I've had a really
lousy day, and I just want to go home. Give me a good excuse
and I'll let you go." The man thought for a moment and said,
"Three weeks ago, my wife ran off with a police officer.
When I saw your cruiser in my rearview mirror, I thought you
were that officer and you were trying to give her back to
me!"

The officer let him go.

DO NOT MARRY A PERSON U LIVE WITH. MARRY A PERSON U CANNOT LIVE WITHOUT

DON'T WORSHIP A STONE IT WILL HURT U ONE DAY.

TRY TO LOVE BUT WITH THAT WHO CARES FOR U.

hi,

I have a good relation with my spouse.but lately he started complaining that I am not good to his parents , though I never did anything to hurt/ disrespect them, wht do i do? How do i handle this.. I am all the more stressed.

I've been going out with my babys farther for about three years we are now at jobcorp together and he's on his way to the militry I don't know what to do help please. He wants to get married before he leaves and I love him but i have a turst promblem do you think it will work out?

Some of the best quick jokes.. Hope you dont laff. However if any of them relate to you, you now know that you are not alone

If you give a woman an inch she'll park a car in it.

"Don't you and your wife ever have different opinions?" "Sure, but I don't tell her about them.

Beautiful girls don't bother me. I wish they would!

Married men live longer than bachelors, but married men are more willing to die.

"Remember, it was a storm like this the night you declared your love to me." "Yes, it was a terrible night."

"Mother, is kissing dangerous?" "Sure is. I got your father that way."

The husband and wife had a bitter quarrel and were yelling at each other. "What do you think I am?" shouted the husband. "You treat me like a dog." "I don't look upon you as a dog," yelled back the wife, "but for God's sake stop barking at me."

"I'm going to get a divorce. My wife hasn't spoken to me in six months. "Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get."

"Why did you become a vegetarian?" I couldn't stand to see my wife burn a $15 steak."

Coming home at a quarter to three; I caught my wife cheating on me; I yelled : "Who's this fink?"; She replied with a wink: "I dunno. He's a new one on me."

"Madam, your husband is lying unconscious in the hallway with a piece of paper in his hand and a large box at his side." "Oh! I'm so happy! My new hat must have come."

George, returning home unusually late, was tiptoeing into his bedroom when his wife woke up, "Is that you, George?" she asked. "Well," George answered, "it better be!"

The law gives me the right to open my wife's mail, but not the courage.

One who marries, for whole life wearies!

Never contradict your wife. It's your word against thousands of hers.

My marriage is a continuous process of getting used to things I hadn't expected.

My wife is now 60. I'll split two for one and get two 30s.

Actually, the so-called weaker sex is the stronger sex because of the weakness of the stronger sex for the weaker sex.

"Who introduced you to your wife?" "We just met. I can't blame anyone."

Mr and Mrs Offenbloo had been married for 20 years and they were still in love. She with the doctor and he with his secretary.

I met my wife at the travel bureau. She was looking for a vacation and I was the last resort.

It may be bad etiquette for a husband to walk between his wife and the shop windows, but it is sure smart.

If I don't pay alimony this month, can my wife repossess me?

A man is incomplete until he's married - then he's really finished.

Kim - I love kids.. but having kids of my own would really take a lot out of my life right now.. I just couldn't do it.
Talk to him about it.. and really talk. Nicely. Why doesn't he want to have kids? Would he want kids in 5 or 10 years? Stuff like that. Be nice and open to his opinions.
If it's a big issue for you, you really want kids and he really doesnt, maybe you should look at other guys... ^.^;;

Hey Kim, Dont be so pushy. May be this guy would like to enjoy his youth a little while before settling down and going through all the stress of having children.

Hey Marjorie, get out of that relationship before you are totaly miserable for the rest of your life, their are plenty of people out there that could make you very happy.

Hey Destiny M, I think you should get married and have that baby. Think it over you could be doing something that would haunt you for the rest of your life. I have three children and love them very much. Even if your marriage doesnt work out their are alot of single parents out there.

My advice, just get divorced.

some people say wrong and hing which are not to be tell on net those are very bay

hey ppl!! i got married in mumbai as ma parents wanted me to marry with tht guy....as we married tht guy never had physical relation with me still ...2 mths passed we got married...well he is really sometimes romantic..but wenever i try to bring the topic of making love...he always changes it...
temme wat to do

ths is cquiet impressive. this kind of page should be well maihtained and well civilised. various new invented technique and process should look forward, i as a participant in this side am really impressed.

"Marriage is pretty cool, you just have to stay open-minded and keep a sense of humor"

how is married life ? is it fun ?

I have had a fantastic boyfriend for a year. We cohabited for almost the entire time. And always referred to our "long-time commitment" (a.k.a.-indirectly marriage). I recently moved out to regain my financial independence...he was supporting me after I left my job. After "the move," another issue kept looming over us both like a dark cloud - kids. At 28-years old...I am feeling the desire to procreate. I think it is partially biological and partially because I met the man of my dreams. He can't guarantee that he will want to have children. I am confused; he is so good with kids. Do you think he is keeping something from me? Is it normal to not want to have children with the woman you love?

Hi every one!I would love to hear from any kind whether males or females,any race,any religion,any country.All emails are replied once a week to all those who want to email me.I keep always smiling and funny.

My name is Mihoubi Hocine.I'm from Algeria.I'm a teacher of English.My hobbies include;Reading,writing only English Topics.I like music,travelling,surfing,backpacking,excavating,dining out with young females .I 'm also into music driven to poprock mainstream.Meeting a girl to marry is the most vital thing for reaching my aims.I would love to lead a simple life not that hardI'm closer to any female but who is able to send me a lodging paper,I'll be ready at once!

I have been seeing my boyfriend for over a year and things were going great until I got pregnant. We both decided that it is not time for us to have a child together and that abortion is the right option. Since, I have noticed that we bicker about everything, whether it be what time we call one another to what we are doing this weekend. I find myself bothering him at all times, at least that is how he makes me feel. I am not sure if it is because my hormones are boosting and my intellagence level is plummeting or if it is because he just dosen't care about what a tramatic experience I am going through right now. We were talking about the future and marrige before and now I don't know whether to stay or go. Am I in the concious mind to leave a person whom I love very dearly or to stay with someone who doesn't realize how precious our relationship is?

Ive been married to a hard working 52 year old for going on 11 years. he doesnt do much but work. doesnt care about women, and rarely speaks to them. But, how hard is it at the end of the day ,I ask him if he likes me, funny I know, but He just goes to bed, and I am lonely. Just of coarse I love you, or anything nice would be good. But, tonight he says with a little laugh, (Im going to bed now, Im going to sleep) and when I say you are not nice, and why cant you say a few nice things, he trys to tell me what I would say if he did say something to me like i love you. I cant believe it, sometimes I wonder. Also, he hardley ever (wants) me. Only very far and few in between, and that is if he has 90 seconds to spare when Im sound to sleep. I really dont know what is going on. I am a nice looking lady. Most people think Im my daughtes sister, not mom. Im small, and can be real sweet. Just getting a bit upset......

Hi everybody, I'm going out with C since 7 years now, before i wanted to get married with him and have children but during these years, we quarrelled a lot on 7 days we quarrelled 9 days, big shit!!! C is 29 years old and me 24 years old. At the beginning of this year I told him that i'm leaving him as I am fed up with this relation, and i said too that i'm planning to go to europe for about 4 months (i live in Mauritius island). He was not happy at all and i think that he had think about that and now he says that he loves me and want to marry me and want to have children and so on. Me i'm happy to hear that but i hesitate as in the past during 6 years he makes me trust him and each time that i make plans he destroys those plans. I know that we love each other but when you love and your hopes have been destroyed, for me i hesitate. If you can help me it will be with great pleasure.


NOTE to Marjorie


Chances that anybody will read this message are dim as this is if you carefully note FOR JOKES or HUMOR.

You should find an appropriate topic and thread from main menu.

Editor

For one to quarrel as much as you say the misses does, there has to be some substantive reason, don't you think? I would guess it to be that the misses is craving some masculine interjection, some strong manly reaction. Pick her ass up and carry her to the bedroom or something. See what her reaction is.

Oh, and if her reaction is to beat on you or slap the hell out of you, then you did the wrong thing. ;)

How to deal with the wife who teases as a matter of right? Who always quarrels for no substantive reason? Does not leave her husband peaceful even for a few minutes... yet loves him most... does not tolerate anybody blaming/disrespecting her husband. Love? No doubt, yes. But to bear it?

NOTE ::
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