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Hindu girl can not get over her Muslim ex

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• Archive through June 01, 2004 [15] 6/1 03:28pm

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hi i am a christian girl and i have a hindu punjabi boyfriend we are very much in love and have been together for 2 years and i want to marry him and been thinking about converting my religion to his, would i be accepted please help me, because i dont do something he will have to have an arranges marraige HELP, i've already changed my name

Hey Shabs,
You sound like a stand-up guy! Your honesty is a breath of fresh air for me. My fiance was in the same position you were nearly two years ago. I gotta tell you, there is no easy way around this situation or out of it and lastly, there is no way to sugar coat it. My advice to you would be to not ask for her to convert at all. If the situation were reversed, would you leave your faith for her? It's as simple as that!

Men should think of these restrictions before they begin dating but alas, I am not here to chastise you for the mistakes that have already been made. If you cannot deal with societal pressures for the rest of your life, GET OUT NOW before you waste several years of this girl's life. If you can, than you will not fear your decision and the repercussions. You will have to defend your decision to stay with this girl and you will have to defend her and her rights to believe the things that she does!

I am a hindu, my fiance is a muslim. We are getting married on October 1, 2005. We had a huge enagement party three months ago with mixed guests. It was wonderful and it went very smoothly. Its not as scary as you think! Talk things out now, decide how you will deal with children as a couple, decide how you will deal with family, decide how you will celebrate eachother's holidays and then you will not be so afraid to move forward. Good Luck and God bless always!

Hello

Im a bengali muslim boy seeing a gujarati hindu girl. We are still young as a couple but it has become really serious between the both of us, and we love each other very much. We are already thinking about marriage but what we don't want happening is that we see each other for 5-6 years and then suddenly we are unable to get married due to religious issues. In order to avoid this we wish to talk about religion between us now while we are still young. As a muslim man my wife has to be a muslim and only then we can marry. But how is she going to take this? I would really love my girlfriend to be a muslim but i honestly don't know how this is going to happen, and i wish there was a less harsh was of saying what i said. I can not bear to leave her, i want to be with her for life. I feel so upset when religion comes up and i wish i could talk with ease about it to her but i can't. I really wish that we were all just one religion. When my girlfriend and I were young we were both told by our parents to marry only a muslim girl or vice versa, but how can that be possible when we love each other so much?

I would be grateful if anyone could reply to this in any useful away. Much appreciated.

I am a hindu girl and iwant to marry a christian boy. Though the culture in the families is more or less same, we pray to different gods. My parents are totally against it. I want to convince them before i get married to him. Please suggest.

Hi
I have a punjabi khatri hindu boyfriend and i'm muslim girl.

I would like to know more about their culture and customs.So if anyone can tell me where i can find a calender that will say about all their festives and religious occasions.
So if anyone can tell me where do i find it on net let me know.

Thanks

Dear moderator,

Thanx.I agree wit u mostly.

I understnd wat u r saying about hindu khatri punjabi belief..........wat about if i dont want him to chage his religion to islam and i convert to his would he and his community accept it.His parents belive in arrange marriges ideally.Would they be fine by it me converting.

please let me know wat u think

This is just a thought im not considering it yet.

At this point i cant bring this topic with the guy as dont wantto scare him off. think too early.

do let me know.

tc


Dear Friend

As far as my information of history and personal contacts the marriage in India or with Indian people of any origin, including Pakistan or SouthAsia is only successful when people have a common belief, a common culture. From my records I can state that most Punjabi Khatris have accepted in past innumerable ladies of other beliefs into their fold with success. They are not very conservative or formally religious people but they do keep their traditions intact and as far as their history they have always accepted other cultures and beliefs when these accepted and respected them. Well we can say that is generally applicable to most ancient cultures. But I can say that more so with Punjabi Khatris. Yes truly the chances of overall success of marriage, we can call it an arranged love marriage are all if both parties can adapt to one single belief system. This concludes all conflict and from thereon it becomes a regular relation to say that plainly.

If you go prepared and show interest in their culture [I repeat they may not appear but their cultural values are intact for thousands of years] and customs etc. they will be accepting you without any conditions unless they are totally conservative or fanatics which surely wont be the case as most Punjabi Hindus are extremely progressive and growth oriented practical people like Americans.

My personal experience is that when two people merge their egos and man made identities they create a new identity which at times is very original and stronger than any. I have seen cases of deep love and successful marriages among Punjabis and other such intense cultures where one person joined others culture unconditionally and later enriched both and created a new fused identity that is accepted and admired socially.

We can achieve what we want in life if we respect all and we dont hurt anyone in the path.
Wishing the best to you.

editor

I'm a muslim girl seeing a khatri hindu punjabi guy in usa.We are in love but due to religious factor seems like there is no fututre for us.I'm a girl with a open mind and know if i want to i can go the extra mile to be with my guy.The guy however thinks marriage is not an option as cant put his family through this.We both tried but its hard being apaart from someone u love.But i need to know before geetting too involved--------
How flexible is the khatri hindu community regarding inter religion marriages?


The only functional way to get on with this matter if both parties are above and beyond religious barriers.

If not sooner or later the issues will overpower all other issues. Mutual Love is not a guarantee of success in a marriage. Usually inter religious marriages fail for one party or both's obsession with religion.

I know many cases when a Muslim or Hindu or Christian spouse became a more fanatic type after marriage and to assert herself she used the religious difference as an excuse to sabotage the relationship.

If you were married to someone of your faith you probably will not even care much about religious issues but when you marry someone born with different flavor, the differences surface rather quickly and at wrong times.

Be realistic, open, frank and talk about it. It is possible as I said if both parties are willing to be open and above religious grounds and possibly adapt a third religion like Buddhism or Sikhism and thus have a common ground.

Punjabi Hindu Khatri people as per my observation are some of the most aggressive, educated and tolerant people of South Asia. They are also avant guard and progressive in their belief system but it will be virtually impossible to make them convert to Islam as they have a very rich basis of Indian philosophy although few worthy Khatris converted to Islam during past 150 years prior the independent India & Paksitan and they became very well known.

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