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Women sufferings and infidelity

For a man and woman marriage is the second life to live. Both dream to experience the second stage of life “the marriage.” Wish to become dominant members of the family comes true where they act their own ways. The own family and responsibilities give the opportunity to gain honor. Woman’s role in running a house is more important thus she gains significance. Therefore, for a woman marriage means more than anything in the world does. For her, the marriage is an emotional attachment. For her marriage means, are freedom from parental restrictions and social pre-marriage compulsions. Her first dream is the freedom of the sexual contact without the fear; her second dream to have her own identity as wife and mother. Own home is the place for her to exhibit her personality, being a wife is her dignity. For a wife husband/partner is not only the sexual partner rather he is her security, support, and strength, and the closest companion with whom she can share her feelings. For her husband is a partner she can share everything of her life which she cannot share with others even mother/father and kids. Third dream is to have own children fathered by her husband/partner who is her closest companion. These dreams are the attractions, which contribute to emotions she possesses for the life after the marriage. She enters to second life to form her own house comprising husband and kids where she plays her dominant role. Therefore, for a woman marriage is emotional tie up to live together, share the feelings, and act independently for the house. For her the husband/partner is not the security alone he is rather a partner to play with the joy/sorrow, sweet/sour.

Her dreams of marriage and collected marriage values disintegrate when she finds her husband/partner is sharing with others what was meant for her. The partner is her/his own property and dignity that she does not want to loose. Her man for her is everything, whatever kind he is, she manages and sacrifices to get along as long as he is honest and dependable. Infidelity by her man is attack on her marital status and is suicidal for her:
• She looses the trust and dependability; who would she trust when own man has cheated. She is devastated sensitively and mentally. She leads her tensed life with grieving emotions would be enough to develop mental and physical deceases.
• Both partners believe sexual partner as a personal valuable asset that demonstrates dignity and pride. A sexual partner is most valued partner becomes own dignity thus loosing partner is loosing dignity. Unfaithfulness of the partner is an insult to the personal values. So the matter becomes unbearable and embarrassment if partner’s sexual attraction goes into others hands is shameful and loosing self-respect.
• Her financial and other security is at risk. For a woman, her male partner is her security and safety. In addition, for a woman who is dependent, her man is the economic security. Her man shares her necessities, burdens, takes responsibilities of her, and kids. When he is there she is totally worry free.
• Loss of the best and emotional friend/partner she got. She, as she wished could share with partner her sentiments, anger, sorrow and everything of her was for her mental relief, what she cannot share with unknown. So is an emotional attack on her.
• For a woman it is pride when her man is around her. Absence of the partner results loneliness, which she would hate more than anything. Loneliness exists when is unable to share personal thoughts and sentiments with reliable person, is like killing self.
• She/he is not worried of her/his relation out side marriage rather what worries him/her is loosing emotional attachment woven during the whole episode. So more than the security she looses the emotional values she possessed and shared. Security is for survival and emotional attachment is for the energy she needs for existence. That is why women feel totally distressed when her man deceives.
• For a man his woman is his dignity and for a woman her man is her dignity and identity. Her man is her identity as father of her children. Her man is her identity as her security.

Dear Board

Peace. I responded to help since I feel a lot of pain here. Pain and love are universal. I sought to help to relieve the pain of a fellow human being. I wrote to clarify what many often are too inarticulate to say. I founded a non-denominational mental health care clinic years ago because I could no longer stand by idly while people dissolved into misery. I apologize if I offended you in any way. I remain. Peace. AT Alishtari

Dear Alishtari

You are most welcome to help people. The help to anyone outside of us is to help to us indeed.

You dint offend anyone really

mod.

I responded to two issues. One the racial slurs against Muslim Morrocans and the other to polygamy. I discovered that the earlier comments seem to have been taken out and I ask you why. Do you not want people to participate in this process. The two speeches I put on the site were part of a series but I only communicated what was relevant. I have 15 in the series and most do not relate to this subject matter. If somehow I have offended you, please let me know. I remain. Abdul Taw'ala Ibn Ali Alishtari. Peace.


First of all please use a smaller name. Dont write names such long. Someotimes our program automatically deletes such posts as spam.

We have not deleted any message you posted.

This is a message board and not for posting long essays or copy pasted materials. For that please create a blog. This is not for posting speeches. Nobody is interested to read long religious explanations. We are not a site on religions.
It is only related to marriages.

The message boards are for writing and responding messages. Please kindly engage in discussion and not post speeches.

mod.

Dear Moderator- while I know I asked this before, I really feel like this site should require "sign-in" names. This may eliminate some of the hate postings that are being produced, because it will force these people to sign-in. I don't see how the forum is going to be productive without it.

I understand that you feel as though freedom of speech is highly valued here on the forum, but some of these postings are down right WRONG! Some people actually come on here to seek advice from sound individuals, and are not looking for racial bashes along the way. I don't see anything wrong with people being held accountable for their writings!

I originally found this site because of a heartbreaking break-up with an indian. I met some nice people who gave me advice and who I still am in contact with. I would like to give the same thing back to others; however, I find some of the other postings to be very offensive. I know I could choose not to read them and bypass them altogether, but I feel that this site would be more respectful with a little more banning of racial slurres, bashing, etc. from some posters.

So... again, I ask respectfully for a sign-in requirement, OR a more closely monitored site. Thank-you.

Sincerely,
sweetgirlie1

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