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• Archive through March 25, 2002 [1] 3/25 04:58am

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hi i m ARORA in BATHINDA i lost my frist love she not love i m very angry she going to the newzealand in auckland pls send me my my message i love u KAMO

I AM VERY CONFUSED WITH MY EMOTIONS AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE. I LOST MY DAUGHTER THIS YEAR AND MY HUSBAND WAS NO SUPPORT (ONLY BECAUSE HE DOES NOT KNOW HOW TOO) I PREVIOUSLY HAD A GAMBLING PROBLEM AFTER THIS BUT FOR THE PAST 2 MONTHS I HAVE STAYED AWAY. MY HUSBAND IS ALWAYS CONDEMMING ME FROM MY PAST AND MAKES ME FEEL UNWANTED. HE TELLS ME HE LOVES ME BUT I FEEL THAT HE DOES BUT NOT LIKE IT SHOULD BE. WELL I SCREWED UP FOR THE FIRST TIME THE OTHER DAY BY GOING AND BLOWING MY HOLE PAYCHECK AT THE CASINO AND LEFT MY HOME TO STAY SOMEWHERE ELSE BECAUSE I COULD NOT TAKE THE FEELINGS THAT I KNEW WERE COMING DUE TO THIS EPISODE OF MINE. I COULD NOT TAKE THE REJECTION BECAUSE I LOVE HIM VERY MUCH.
WHAT SHOULD I HAVE DONE? I DON'T WANT TO BE APART BUT I DON'T WANT TO FEEL LIKE GARBAGE BY HIS TREATMENT TOWARD ME. I CAN'T STAND TO BE AWAY FROM HIM AND DON'T KNOW WHY IT HURTS SO MUCH.
PLEASE GIVE ME ANY ADVICE ON THIS MATTER AND WHAT I COULD DO TO HELP EASE THE PAIN.

VICTORIA


Dear Victoria

Very sorry to hear the loss of your dear daughter and your anguish and grief is very understandable.

You wrote that your husband doesnt know well he knows but he cant express nor can he handle better than you. Some people instead of expressing bottle up their emotion of sadness and he may done that.

You have used gambling as an outlet of your grief and mourning which if it is not an addiction is fine but if you find solace in that and make it permanent it is a mistake.

Do not feel guilty for what you did.

On the other hand you need to take charge and you need to deal with this more strongly and better than him. Please support him and be with him, ask him to share his feelings and accept any anger coming out of him as an outlet and relief measure as it will sooth him.

You cant get back your daughter but you both can love each other by recalling her and sharing her memories - and this way you can soothe her soul.

Remember that nobody dies ever it is only the body that goes away but soul is always there.

DO NOT WORRY what you should have done.
THINK what can you do now?

You ask him to forgive you and feel sorry for not being with him although you may not not he may be worse than you in sadness.

Please support him and love him more as if he was your daughter and soon you both can restart another chapter as you both need to live.

Please do not worry and feel guilty. If he is treating you bad only for gambling the money out ask him to forgive you and tell him how you felt lonely.

Everything afterwards will be ok.

Editor

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