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i have been with this woman for about 5 years we have three children together even though ones not my blood she still my little girl i want to marry this girl one day i pray when we started seeing each other i got her pregnant with in the first month i thought my world was over but it wasent because i love this girl i want to start a family somthing me or her never had she asked me to move in with her and her grandmother and when our child was born we would get on our own well things dident turn out that way we found us a place but then she convinced me to let her grandmother live with us so i did big mistake that lady has about drove me and my girl to the nut house verbaly abusive treats my girl like a slave seriously i dont know how she deels with that lady anyway 3 years pass we have another child then my girls mother is a druggie same as mine she goes on run from police my girl adopts her 11 year old brother so he dont go to foster home which i couldent se the boy going to no foster home she has 2 sisters and a brother they have all been in homes before about 5 months ago my girl friend wanted to start hanging with her friends from work well one night she dident come home until 4 in the morning all drunk it made me mad i dident like that we got 4 kids at home plus me and she needs to party no way dident she see what partying does to familys i told her i dident want it to happen again she was either going to get a dui or get hurt and do somthing stupid what does she do the fowlowing week the same thing only this time she got a dui i was furious she says im to controlling i dont think i am i just know right from wrong i think the next week comes around i gave a altamadem i said im leaving if we dont start our own life and quit worrying about every one else when we got our own problems well i dont think she really cared she stayed gone for 2 nights i couldent handle it i quit my job the second night and went back to a place i dident want to alone missing her and my children i called her every day for a week she would never answer then she finnaly packed my stuff and told me to come get it so i did so i let a few more weeks go by before i called her again and she is telling how she has stayed here stayed there went out with quite a few guys just tearing me appart nowing she has got 4 kids at home left with a 60 year old verbal abusive grandmother who cant take care of herself why i dont know so i dident call her again for about 3 months when i thought i was emotionally ready to see my children and i was convinced that she was already sleeping with someone else after she brought me the kids a few times she asked me out to dinner i said only if you have not slep with anybody else because i dont want to be around you she said know but she had kissed a girl i told her i kissed someone to and i regret even though were not together she said she regrets it to we went out to eat we had a good time she said she missed me and ofcourse i missed her she stayed all night with me that night we made love and cried to each other made up i thought she put her ring back on i told her i wasent moving back in with her grandma there she said she understood so a month went by im all happy again and she convinced me to go and party with her and her friends i said ok even though i dident want to i wanted her back we went out with the girl she had a thing going with which i tried to let go anyway i got to drunk and went to the van and got sick i called her and said it was time to go she said she will be out when she is ready it hurt my feelings she called a cab next thing i know were at her friends house that she had a thing with i passed out in the bathroom like an idiot i woke up in the middle of the night to my girl half naked on the couch with that girl and another dude another naked girl in one room and a half naked guy in another room it messed my head all up what was i supposed to think what would you think i asked her what happen she said nothing and got mad at me for asking i just want to know am i stupid crazy for putting up with this or am i wrong for asking questions and wanting a family that i never had

my wife and i have been married for about 6 months now. i have a 3 yr old girl from a previous relationship. we both love each other very much. i am 36 yrs old and she is 27. the problem we have been having revolves her drinking and partying. last saturday night she came home at 6:30 in the morning from a guy friend of ours that is married to her best friend. this guy has cheated on his wife many times and i was mad when she came home. i told her to pack up her stuff and go to her moms house, i even helped her pack some stuff. this isnt the first time she has done this and gotten a ride home from him. i tried to talk to her about this being a problem to me and she doesnt think it is. when we were dating we always went out together and we didnt have a problem. now she goes out all the time without me as i am home with my daughter. i am kinda lost as to what i should do. i asked her if she wants a divorce and she says no. we decided on going to see a councilor as a last resort but that isnt till next week. she always turns it all around and makes me say i am sorry for acting up and arguing with her about comming home so late and drunk as heck. now she is mad at me because i told her to get out and move back home. she is back living here again but i sleep on the couch and she wont talk to me. do you have any advise?


Dear Friend

Married to a drinking woman is hellish.
You can never fix that unless she changes herself.
IF she is ignoring you or dissimulating it only means she is hiding and in any case no sane married woman will be out drinking upto six am.
You must be dreaming or live in a fantasy world.

Your best bet is to warn her and tell her that you will not tolerate it if she does it again. If she does just seek separation without losing your further life.
If she really wants to be a marriage partner she must fix herself. Dont get dragged after her.

If she continues to do what she does and you tolerate soon you will be miserable with suffering. It is time to fix it now.

Moderator

im engaged to a man who i love so much it hurts he has 7 children by 5 diiferent women,he says this is all in the past and has never found anyone he really loves untill i came along.
i do believe he loves me,but his actions are a little odd,even other people have commented.
not so much lately but some time before he would say he was coming round and not turn up,he did this alot of times despite my tears.
he said he will try to stop as he loves me and old habbits die hard.
he is currently out of the country as his mum passed away and he went home for a while,he never calls when he says he will although does eventually.
he is finicialy struggling to get home at moment but i believe he will,he has been away 3 months already.
im just really unsure weather i can trust him,i have caught him out lieing before,although he says it was a stupid lie ,and i need to forget it.
its just sometimes things he says dont add up he used to have his phone off alot to,especilly on the days he was suppose to come round.
he was staying at a maites house before but never took me there as he said the guy wasnt happy about him bringing people there,as he wasnt paying rent or that,it was a place to crash.
i just feel really confused someone help!!!


Your best bet and the only one is to get out of this relation as soon as you can.

He is a hopeless guy who uses excuses to play with women. He is an irresponsible man and can never never never settle anywhere as he is used to do this dramatics.

If you carry on be ready to be abandoned after being the mother of his 8th child and no.6.

You must be drunk or hallucinating to be being weak and naive to go after a man who must be kept in asylum or quarantine. He is a lunatic.

Get out or you will suffer for the rest of your life.

Editor

im a 39 yearold woman and been married for 15 years we have 4 kids just the past four years ive been for some reason pushing myself away from him and he is going crazy trying to find out why i really have no reason for it and ive been sleeping on the couch every night i cant stand him touching me snd the smell of his pillow makes me sick i have to wash it everyday he thinks ive been cheating on him but im not i think of sex as a job and a hassle and his snoring wakes me up at night and i will use that as a excuse to go to the couch he bought me earplugs but i said they hurt what is wrong with me and how do i explain it to him


This can be for various chemical imbalanced in body and emotional stirring psychically and also arousal of some past fears that relate or associate you with him or you associate your inherent fears in his person, hence cause this indifference.

You need to do an overhaul of body by fasting, try a temporary separation and try change your attitude and stop judging others. If you are really honest judge your own conduct and if you hurt others by your conduct you need some changes in you.

If you continue like you do it will be a disasters.

Editor

Hello i was married for 10 years to a loveing and careing mother of 2 (boy 10 girl 3)we were going through a hard time as of late(money and bills)i come home one night and was told that she wanted a devorce !She told me that she had fallen out of love with me and that there was no hope .I was crushed this wemon was the one true love of my life she has a place in my heart and that noone could ever take weather we make it or not i could never stop loving her i will love her till my dying day and i have told her this many times but i dont think she believes me so please help me you see there is no me without her i was so distraught about the situation that i basicaly ran we went and got the papers on a monday and i signed (cuz i was so crushed and hurt)now she feels as tho i just gave up and that there isnt ever a future for us anymore and to top it off i even accused her of haveing an affair with a good friend .is there anything i might be able to do to fix my marrage ? i have begged and pleaded but to no avail its only been 2 weeks now and i feel empty and lost with out her! PLEASE HELP!!!

ive been with the same women for 22 years i love her to death our life together has gone down hill over the last six months.we have managed to pull apart now she tells me she is not sure if we can work this out we both have good jobs two wonderful daughters ages 18 20 my wife had major surgury a few months ago while she was out of work we fell behind on a lot of stuff including our marriage we fight about everything it seems bills money kids friends work you name it when i get mad sometimes i lose control but not to the piont where i would hurt her i just bottle everything up inside until i cant take anymore

she hes told me that she is afraid of me nowand i promised her i would never hurt her and i would do anything to make our lives together work you see when i met her i knew she was my soulmate and i told her so but somewhere along the way i lost sight of everything around me including her

i dont know what to do but i know i need help to save my marriage and my sanity if anyone could help it would be very much welcomed you see she has a place in my heart and that noone could ever
take weather we make it or not i could never stop loving her iwill love her till my dying day and i
have told her this many times but i dont think she believes me so please help me you see there is no me without her

i hope this is a step in the right direction i need help and willing to accept any and all advise


Indeed you are on right path because you seem to have realized and discovered the truth that you were deviated or she was indifferent and you both love each other a lot.

Now question is how to re-enter into her heart?
Ok you feel the same as she does but women are softer and gentler and their insecurities are magnified a great deal than most men.

You both are good people who have been walking on the same track but what you need to understand that its normal yes it is normal to have such deviation at times specially during the mid life.

Secret of all this is that you both are too comfortable to have any challenge. When life gets bored and challenges are gone, you have to create some new ones.

Discover a new life with her by proposing to do some new things, like traveling on specific places in olden world like India, Turkey, Russia, China etc. You can both have a joint project where you can help some people who are also undergoing midlife crisis as when we help others in similar state we actually fix our PROBLEM. All this is very subtle and delicate matter but you with your zeal can get it.

She will respond if you were gentler, natural and realself not pretending to be so.

Consider as if you are starting it all over again and you have to court her. Women are like a flower plant and it needs constant care and despite your frustration you have no other way. You can do it.

COMMUNICATE with her indirectly and actively and invite her out to some short trips or weekends where both of you can be alone and feel each other.

Surprise her with your NEW SELF and your changed personality by being compassionate and GOOD.

She will soon notice the differences in you and you are ready for another 25 year trip of marriage. Consider it like a new edition.

Editor

Thanks for your advice it has helped reenforce my conversations I have had with my wife about "P".
Nearly those same ideas and words came from our conversation. As we spoke, alot more has been spelled out. I have a wife that is normal but she is a pleaser person no one gets hurt..(except her) she is caring and as we both do have demanding jobs. We got losts in wants and desires and failed to communicate properly. We did not have a troubled marriage, but we had weak communications. she thought this is something I wanted so she gave it too me and I thought it was something she wanted....In reality we forgot about what our marriage was about "US"...Though out her entire life everyone whom she loved intimently walked away from her, abused her. She was sexually abused by her uncles, (she ages 5 or 8 and they were 13 and 14) (I never was abusive even though she had her heart broken in high school by me we parted civilly) She believed she couldn't have children, because of what she had done with "P" so God punished her by not having childern. Her father Good man, physically abusive by todays standards, but old fashion ways told her if she ever told anyone about her relationship with "P" the man would never love her..Well he was wrong!! And I have proven that 16 years ago. She has had alot of heartbreak she did not share before. She told me when she finally ended her first relationship with "P" she was alone and ask God's for help...and if he could not she would kill herself. Then the only thought she had was get your stuff and leave and she did and never looked back (the realtionship was bad and abusive for the most on "P" part) My wife was a confused young women at this time in her life. My wife never told me some of this before. (there is so much more) But in all I wanted to say thanks. K


You are fortunate and surely your wife is a good woman. Please try help her, support her and warm her with your compassion and love. If you do she will drift from all that and continue in your good company.

Life is what we make of it.
She is vulnerable and sensitive but you can make it work for her by helping her and orienting in right direction NOT by lectures or force but by love and example.

Editor

I have had a wonderful 16 year marriage. We were very good friends in high school. Then we dated, Senior year broke up. We went on with our lives separately for 5 years. Later we were brought together and then married. 4 years later after we made love one night, we began to talk about some experiences and fantasies. She tells me she had a relationship with another woman for about 1 1/2 years. My wife isn't or did not appear to be bi sexual. She said it wasn't a life for her but she found the experience a good one.

The woman she had lived with was a lesbian and played around alot. She (my wife)hand other male relationships also.
I was ok with the revalation and so on. Now nearly 20 years past by and guess who wants to come back (lives out east)Yes the former Lesbain lover. "P" (as I will call her) was getting some life issues out of the way and wanted to talk with my wife. My and I had spoke of this moment possibly happening but never thought it would. One day my wife tells me she gets a call from P at her place of work. We ponder it for a couple of days. After they started talking 3 weeks prior of P returning home thats in another town.

My wife said it was like things hadn't change P was still the funny never met a stranger kind of a person. My and I sometimes fantisized of a 3 some but never acted on any impulses....My wife says if were to happen it could happen with P because she was so comfortable with her. Make a longer story short. P came and stayed awhile, my wife and I allowed a sexual encounter to happen and then again, but I also see what is appearing to be two people starting to act like dating (that new relationship feeling)all time was being consumed by P. P was buying perfume and going shoiping. When P left to see family , My wife kept in close contact with her by phone. I warned my wife of my concerns and that this was a mistake. If P wanted to be a friend then lets us end this before it gets some one hurt this needs changing. Well she has left and went back out east but the phones calls 4 to 5 times aday or nights....Phone sex little conversations like two high school kids dating.....I'm at my wits end I allowed a mistake to happen. My wife told me she loved P but on a different level than us. Nothing could come close to us and our love in our marriage...Well I think it has and I need some advice to show my wife what a mistake this is for our futrue even when lives out east she is going to come back..and the phone calls continue..."Foolish and Hopless K"


What can one do if someone is so weak as your wife. Freedom is today a misunderstood word and your wife needs some reorientation and a strong male personality that you can provide on whom she can lean.

If you give her love that she craves for P will be dead soon for her. You can not break her infatuation with her but you can be honest and sincere that you do not see it any future between both of you. Give her a time frame and tell her to sort out otherwise part your ways and look for someone normal.

If your wife really loves you she will return.
But forcing her will be naive.

Editor

Hi I am a 21yr girl and I have a 4yr daughter. i have my boyfriend and we been toghter for 3 1/2 years and today he finally he told me that he has never forgotten me been with another guy. That he wish that he would have been the only guy in my life. I always trie to tell him that it was a misttake that I had commited when i was young and that i dont know what to do about. Today it sounded like if he wont to break up but it would really kill me because I any so happy with him and i think he need to tell me in the beinging that he would never forget that so i would never get so used to him and my daughter even thinks his her father. I mean he is really nice all the times he spends alot of time with us its just cannot forget the past please give me some good advice in what to do i dont wont to lose him over my past mistake.


Dear Kristy

You are a nice girl.
He is nice too but he is like other humans weak and suspecting that could go with another man.

This is a typical hidden fear which men and women carry. IF YOU CAN remove this fear from his mind by taking serious action and by showing him that you truly love him and you accept making a mistake that was beyond your control etc. and talk all this in open and honestly he may gain more trust.

If you can convince him by persistence and by your actions, he will never leave you.

If however he wants to go do not stop him.
That means he is never going to trust you.

In that case wait and try finding another person later on but do not get depressed, there are wonderful people around. Just be yourself but try communicating your thoughts to HIM in a nice and clear way.

Editor

well i been married for 8 years and we been together for all most 12 years. the problem is that i keep putting my foot in my mouth and saying stuff i don't mean. like your cheating on me, or i will find someone else that will have sex with me. i guess this mental abuse really messed her up and i need to show her that this will change and i will not say those things anymore. when we talk i think i'm just driving her futher away from me. i don't want to say that stuff it just comes out when i'm mad. to top this off we have 2 kids 10 and 8. and i say the stuff in front off them too. i'm going to counseling for the first time. this all happened because i did not listen to her telling me to stop saying that stuff to her. she says she loves me and i love her i just did not tell her like i should have. if someone can offer me some advice or maybe tell me if there my be hope because i need her and my kids more and more everyday.

Each time you get angry or inflated with some frustration drink a glass of water immediately. Keep some of the water in mouth and if you need to explode the anger go out for a walk on foot. After some practice you will become normal.

This is a very common conduct for many women and men who use verbal assaults on their spouses for any frustrating or anger situation.

Please control your self and be normal, polite and kind. Your wife and children will love you and once they love you, and dont fear you, your self esteem will boom.

Editor

i married a girl when she was 18 i was 22 over theyears she started to change because i had a little money i loved her she loved money and things ilost her to all that we have 3 kids young what to do? help

I knew that we were two very different people. I fulfilled my role as a dutiful spouse, maintaining all areas of our marriage (I basically took him under my wing when we married, though that turned into pattern and I ended up doing everything for us). No one knew that I was empty and unfulfilled and full of resentment - I always carried on, having convinced myself that "no one said it would be easy". I dreamed of moving on in my career, of doing something more with my life - he called me overambitious. He was never abusive toward me, so I can't say that I had to run away from his destructive behaviour. But he never thought to ask me if I was happy. If I brought up the subject (that I wanted more from life), he took it as a personal attack on him, and I couldn't talk to him, so I went on acting as if things were just fine. After 8 years of marriage, I finally separated from him, moved to Europe with our 8 year old daughter to pursue my dream career, and settled into a new environment.

Then I thought that, well, in a whole new environment, maybe we could give it a second try. I never hated him, but I know that I didn't love him the way I thought I should. So he came and joined us in Europe for three months. It was a dud, more or less, he simply didn't even try to integrate. Basically, if I don't fill in the job application, he won't make the effort. He almost convinced me to leave my job and come back home. I had made such progress with my job, I was happy, I had left so many bad memories behind. Why would I want to go back to a life that I was so unfulfilled in? He and our daughter went back, I stayed to fulfil my contract obligations, though in the meantime, I came to the conclusion, "wait a minute. I'm doing what's right for me, for once in my life". And I told him that I was staying in Europe and that if he wanted to be with me, he'd have to find a job and come join me. So he and our daughter are coming back (no job yet). I truly have my doubts about him and I. I think I might just want my daughter joining me.

Hello all..My husband and I have been married for two years and but we have been together for six. We have a daughter who is three. Lately he has been shutting me out of everything that is going on with him and with us. He doesn't talk to me doesn't want to be intimate and starts an arguement over the smallest things. I have tried to talk to him about it but like I said he refuses to talk about anything. I need help. .I don't know what I should do anymore. . I do however know that this relationship is very unfair to me. I don't know if I should continue to try? He makes me feel like he no longer wants to be in the relationship. Thanks for any help. .

hi i have been married for 15 years to a loving supportive husband. then we had three kids and he has changed. hes cold and a complainer. we dont do anything together or have fun or laught.he works i stay home with the kids. we fight all the time. i used to cry but as time went on now i just get angry and now to the point i think i fell out of love with him. but i am afraid i cant make it on my own with three kids. so i just keep going a long with it but i am so unhappy. i just want to be in a happy relationship. he has changed so much. i know we get older and i know i have changed but only a little like i love poetry and have new hobbies but not my personality. if i would have known hes was going to change i would not have married him. how do you know if its over or you just need cousiling

I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 24 YEARS. MY HUSBAND LIKES TO PARTY AND GROPE OTHER WOMEN..SOMETIMES IT LEADS TO MORE WHEN I'M NOT AROUND..I USE TO PARTAKE IN THE SAME ACTIVITY, BUT NOW DO NOT WANT TO AND DONT EVEN WANT TO DRINK ANY MORE..HE SAYS I HAVE CHANGED AND HE WILL TOO, BUT UNTIL THEN HE WILL GO TO GIRLY CLUBS AND/OR CONTINUE THE BEHAVIOR AS HE LIKES TO SEE SOMETHING DIFFERENT. HOW WILL I KNOW IF HE EVER WILL CHANGE AND IS IT DISRESPECTFUL THAT I WANT HIM TO QUIT THE SAME BEHAVIOR NOW THAT I USE TO HAVE.

He is immature [emotionally] as you can see.
If you project in you what you seek in him, for some time and letting him do whatever he wants, he will respond.

If you sulk and suffer and be critical he will probably find more pleasure in doing what he does.
Just ignore his unwanted acts. He will become normal.

editor

My husband and I have been together for a total of 12 years. Married for 6 of those years. I am 26 and he is 28. We are highschool sweethearts who have no children. We just bought a house and since then everything has seemed to go downhill. I am at the point in my life where I have the opportunity to go back to school and fulfill my dream. The problem is that my husband doesn't want me to do this because eventually I will have to move out of state. Which he does not want to do. The other problem is that I'm not sure that I am still in love with him or not. And he doesn't understand what it is he has done. I try to explain that it's not him it's me....
Please help
Confused

Sometimes when we change houses life gets disrupted. Try creating an environement that is harmonious and suits everyone.

Look life has too many options but you need to close and focus on a few things. There is nothing better than a good family life.

Love is a fleeting illusion. It is in you not in others. Do not destroy your family because the distance may destablize your family life.

Try to create new challenges and find activities that you can do with him and family. Running a home itself is a big job. You will enjoy more if you try find happiness with what you have first.
There is nothing outside only a barren desert.

Editor

PLEASE HELP ME! I recently started dating this guy that is Legally separated. He separated from his wife almost 1 year ago, she choose this not him. They have a 2yr old daughter and when we got envolved he told me that if his wife would take him back he would try to make it work out with her because he wants his FAMILY back. We have been living together for 2-3 months now and are very happy, he recently told me he loves me but he says hes so confused about his feeling because he wants his FAMILY together. I am so afraid that he is going to leave me to go back to her if SHE chooses that. I have met her and when they talk to each other or see each other there is NO affection at all between them. Its like watching two friends talk. They don't even hug each other. What is the likely hood that she would want him back after this long? She told him that she has never been happier and before they separated he tried counciling with her but she walked out and said she hated him and didn't want anything to do with him. Am I stupid to think they will get divorced? He said at this point He won't file for divorce, hes waiting for her too.

Ive been Married for 13 years they havent been the best years of my life. We have a major age difference 15yrs difference. Hes had many affairs Yes i stayed I was very young when we married and he was abusive so i felt alone and had no one to turn to. Now Im questioning my love for him We never talk And we may make love once a month if thats what ya call what we do. I find myself thinking alot of being on my own. Im still scared but not of being alone. I have two sons who love there father dearly. I know they will never leave him but if i leave them what kind of message is that sending them. And my own mother said she would disown me if i left my boys there not small the teens i feel they should have a choice but could i live with that choice. How do I tell him Im not in love with him anymore and i want a divorce when i feel like my sons will feel like im leaving them. Ive felt this way for years and im came no closer to leaving.

I'm due to get married in 14 weeks and am having doubts, I feel pressured by the whole arrangements. The father has paid for the deposit and invitiations have been paid for. We have paid for an expensive honeymoon too. I proposed in March this year and feel that I care deeply for my partner but not strongly enough for marriage or to call it love, I long to be on my own a lot or with someone I truly love and wish I could end this. I worry about my partner though, the last time there was a hint of ending it she was hysterical and she also mentioned that she had never felt more like ending her own life. All of this makes me want to stay with her to keep her happy, but I'm not truly happy. Time ticks on and I get more concerned.

I have been having problems with my boyfriend of a year and a half...and I am thinking they are deeper than I have been telling him. I don't know if I care about him the way I first thought. He is a great guy, we are just completely different people. A plethora of our sitiations: He wants to move to the city after we finish college, I don't know if I want to leave my small town atmosphere. He wants to have children someday, I don't plan on having kids. He is a very sophisticated and very spoiled yuppy young man. I on the other hand was raised in a family where we have had to work for everything and I don't mind doing it. I would love to do things together with him, but whenever that involves work of some sort he seems to dissappear. I hate it that he is not willing to be apart of the things I do, ie washing my car, moving furniture, even cooking dinner.

Well, aside from all my griping, I just find myself wishing he was different. I don't know if I desire him to be more like me, but to just change a bit. We don't have anything in common anymore other than loving the same typ of cookie and that we are dating. I know relationships are about compromise; and I don't want to seem shallow and picky. But doesn't it help to at least have similar goals?

I just don't know what to do. He is a very sweet and caring man, and I hate to think of what it would do to him if I left him. I am scared that I am simply holding onto things hoping he will change (maybe he is doing the same?)


If you dont feel it right inside of you its not right then.

He may not be the right match for you for MARRIAGE. Dating is totally different beat.

The marriage and co-living in one room and home is different as the mindset changes.

You have to clear your doubts and talk to him frankly in clear terms but without sounding harsh that this is what you feel.

He may be different than what you think. But you need to try. Dont be scared just be careful.

Dont take a long road if you know you cant coop.

Ed.

It is very hard being with someone who does not share the same bible based moral standards that you do. I started studying the bible about thirteen months ago. I want to get married to my long time boyfriend of three and a half years for many reasons one of which, is I don't want to displease my creator by being a fornicator. I have been obstaining from sexual practices with him expressing the importance of being married before we have sex again. However, my boyfriend keeps putting me off. He says things like we'll get married someday just not right now. He tries to tempt me into having sex and its been months since we've had it. Its not that I dont want to have sex, I just don't want to out of wedlock. I feel like he has had enough time to decide whether or not I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with.
I don't know what to do I feel like nothing is ever going to change and I am tired of waiting for it to change. Unhappily unwed


There is nothing wrong in remaining chaste but you must not create a basis of religion or belief to manage your personal affairs.

The marriages and love are based upon mutual trust, undertanding and care and not on any book of any religion.

Do not bring RELIGION, POLITICS or any such belief in between the person you love.

Love is greater than all this.
You have not met your creator nor the creator has ever made any such rules. It is all a personal choice. Nobody can displease or please creator by our personal choices.

It is all theory.
The only practical reality is that love is the only glue that joins and binds.

Be wise and discuss all your feelings with him. If you cant agree find an alternative and solutions.

Ed.